Friday, October 9, 2015

The Halloween Whopper

So I was planning on reviewing Burger King's Halloween Whopper (since we only have two BK's nearby and one just happens to be next to where I was today), but lo and behold, BOTH BK's were sold out of the fucking things!

I actually called one of them to see and from what the lady told me on the phone...it's because BK didn't make enough black buns...they've been sold out for a few days...IT'S NOT EVEN BLOODY HALLOWEEN YA FUCKERS. I'm sorry but jesus christ...it's a HALLOWEEN burger...make some more fucking buns so you can keep selling them till Halloween ya fucks!

So there goes my plans. I missed out I guess. idk from what I was reading, the bun wasn't that great, didn't have a lot of steak sauce flavor. I guess I'm only missing out on having colored...leavings. Still meh!

I tried :(

Thursday, October 8, 2015

Halloween Treat Reviews: Part 3 - Odds and ends

I was planning on reviewing Silent Hill tonight but I've gotten 0 comments and hardly any views on my reviews (which take a LOT out of me because I'm sick right now) so...why bother? I think I'm going to cut the reviews quite early...I'll still watch the movies but on my own time, without reviewing them.

Now that also means less posts from me but, I'll still post when I figure I have something of interest to share.

Onto the treats!



Cheetos Bag of Bones - I'm not a fan of Cheetos in general but I'll make an exception for these because they're white chedder flavored and you can play with your food! They come in four distinct shapes. The skull, a rib cage, bones and hand/feet. The flavor is fairly accurate, it doesn't have a rich flavor but I didn't expect much from Cheetos after all. The texture is not unlike a normal Cheeto, puffy and crunchy. Overall it's a good "spooky" themed treat, but I won't be rushing back to the store to stock up on bags. I give it a 6/10 because it's cute and has an ok flavor. 




Kool-Aid Ghoul-Aid Jammers Scary Blackberry - As a kid I used to love Kool-Aid and I would drink it all the time. Now as a grown up I've noticed the yummy taste Kool-Aid used to have isn't there anymore. Maybe they changed how they make flavors there but they all seem to fall flat. Now as for the pouches or "Jammers" some of them have a slight bitter chemical taste to them and others the flavor is pretty light. I have noticed all the "Jammers" seem to share the same underlying taste, the Ghoul-Aid is no different. But what is different about the Ghoul-Aid is it's actually pretty good! I like blackberry flavors in general so I'm pretty happy about the flavor here. Of course
because it's Kool-Aid the flavor is still fairly light, but it's still good. And I love the packaging lol. I find it a little odd that it's not purple colored but instead a dark blue (I was thinking it was purple so I squirted some out in a glass to see...nope lol), but oh well. 8/10 this is by far the best Kool-Aid flavor I've had in a while, next time I see it I think I'll grab some more. This'll be my go to "spooky" drink for the season. Oh and on the plus side, it turns your tongue blue!



General Mills Monster Cereals Count Chocula - If you don't know what Monster Cereals are by now, boy what rock have you been hiding under? For those who don't know "Monster Cereals" are cereals that come out around Halloween time that are based off of classic monsters. Count Chocula for Count Dracula, Franken Berry for Frankenstein...so on and so forth. So why is there so much hype around these cereals? I think it's the nostalgia, people remember eating these cereals around this time when they were kids. I actually don't remember these cereals very well or fondly. I know I've had them but...no warm fuzzy feelings come flooding back. Anyways onto the cereal. I get Count Chocula because it's chocolate, I've never tried the others...I might this season. I don't know if they do it every year but last year and this year they've had special editions of the cereal. Last year was a "retro" look. Sadly I didn't save a box. This year it's a "We're Alive" edition. Where you use your smart phone to make the box "come alive". Target has a build your own monster castle or something and Walmart has glow in the dark masks you can cut out. I have yet to find them so this review is about the plain jane "We're Alive" one. The cereal is a normal puffy crunchy grain cereal with chocolate flavoring and marshmellows. The cereal bits look like pac-man ghosts, while the marshmellows look like deformed bats. I get them every year and I haven't noticed a change in flavor but people sware that it used to be better. 8/10 because it's cute, it's chocolatey and it turns my milk into chocolate sugar milk!



Wednesday, October 7, 2015

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Review

Well back to a remake. While this DVD doesn't have the year on it...it's made by Michael Bay so...guessing it's not the original lol...now I do have the original on VHS but I all ready said I don't REALLY want to watch VHSs unless I have to. Since I take so long to watch/review these I can't watch a VHS that long...has to do with if it's to loud it might wake my parents up so...bad idea. Plus I have to stop the movie a lot to write the review...it's just a mess and I'm dreading the first of the VHSs that I have to watch.

Title - The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Genre - Horror

Year - 2003

The movie starts off like a "documentary", in that the narrator tells us about the story behind the massacre. We see "police reenactment footage" as well. The "real" movie then begins.

So five people in their 20's (?) are in a van heading to a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert. There's three men and two women. The two in the back of the van (excluding the fact guy) are making out hot and heavy after only have just meeting (I know it's the 70's but damn...horror cliche incoming? I expect those two to die first.). Seems they're coming back from Mexico after buying a ton of pot (so sexed up and doped up young adults...yeah horror cliches everywhere!!).

They nearly run over a woman walking down the road because the dumbass driving is too distracted. They pick her up after seeing she's...not all together with it. She says something about "Their all dead.", which makes the others wonder about her. She then freaks out saying they're going the wrong way. They stop and she says something about "He's a bad man" and tells them they're all going to die before she pulls a gun out and shoots herself in the head. Damn. So fearing the cops will find their stash, they throw the pot out (first good idea yet...).

The group stops at a gas station to report the crime but find out the sheriff wants them to drive to a mill. Less then thrilled with the idea, they pile back into the van with the girls body.

They arrive at the mill but there is no sheriff in sight. So they explore the creepy mill (no red flags popping up guys?) till one of the girls wonders off after someone spots something moving. She screams and the rest come running but it was only a possum, turning the corner though they find a young boy. The boy eventually tells them how to get to the sheriffs house and the group splits up with Erin and Kemper (cowboy hat chick and driver guy) going to the sheriffs house and the rest of the group staying at the mill with the boy.

Erin and Kemper come across a house thinking it's the sheriffs place but it turns out not to be. The man living there invites Erin in to call the sheriff and tells Kemper to stay outside.

Back to the other group, the sheriff arrives.

Switching back to Erin, she hangs up the phone after hearing the sheriff will be there in 30 minutes. Going to leave, the man who invited her in asks her to come help him. Outside Kemper wonders where Erin is and enters the house.

Back at the mill, the sheriff picks up the gun and asks about it, finding out that it was the dead womans. He then puts it in his ankle holster, which fits it perfectly...

Going back to the house, Kemper wanders through the house before he's attack by a large man with a sledgehammer and dragged away.

Over to the mill the sheriff pulls one of the guys into helping him...saran wrap the dead body (weird...).

Back to the house, Erin searches for Kemper in the house but not finding him, she leaves to look outside.

Switching to the mill group, the guys load up the dead body into the back of the sheriffs car and he leaves.

Erin comes back to the mill and finds out that the sheriff came and went and that Kemper isn't there. The group wander off together to find Kemper before they split up (again), Erin and Andy (make out boy) going to find Kemper; Pepper (make out girl) and Morgan (fact boy asshole) going back to the van.

Back at the house Leatherface prepares Kemper's body when something drops out of his pocket. Leatherface opens the thing and we see the ring Kemper was promising Erin (aw...sad.).

Outside the house Erin and Andy arrive. Erin goes to distract the man while Andy sneaks in the house. Andy does the typical stupid shit (look in dumb places for his friend...seriously the fucking fridge?) and knocks something over which makes a loud sound which makes Erin and the old man go inside. The old man is pissed off now and summons Leatherface. Leatherface attacks Andy with his chainsaw. Andy tells Erin to run, which she smartly does. Andy then runs out of the house as well, with Leatherface chasing him. Leatherface catches up to Andy and cuts one of his legs off. Leatherface then carries Andy down to his workshop.

Erin runs back to the mill and hops into the van (which Pepper and Morgan are trying to clean...good luck with that lol.) and tries to start it but it doesn't. The sheriff then pops up and finds a joint in the van, he then flips out and tells them to get on the ground.

Back at the house we see Leatherface impale Andy on a meat hook (ick...).

Switching back to the mill the sheriff grabs Morgan and tells him to show him what happened in the van. The sheriff then forces Morgan to recreate the suicide (even to the point of telling him to put the gun into his mouth.). Morgan flips out and points the gun at the sheriff and pulls the trigger...but realizes it's empty! The sheriff then takes Morgan and drives off with him, leaving Pepper and Erin. While driving the sheriff breaks his bottle on Morgan's face, knocking some of his teeth out.

Back to Pepper and Erin, Erin tries to hotwire the van.

Over to the house, the sheriff pulls up outside the house, yanks Morgan out of the car and beats him a little. He then tells Morgan "You kids shouldn't have messed with that little girl." before shoving him into the house.

Back to Pepper and Erin, Erin manages to start the van! But the fucking tires fall off...wtf. What a piece of shit van lol. Leatherface then shows up with his chainsaw. Pepper tries to make a run for it but Leatherface kills her. Erin manages to get away from Leatherface and stumbles across a trailer. The women in the trailer let her in and offer her tea. Erin asks to use their phone but they tell her they don't have one. After nearly forcing Erin to drink some of the tea, their phone rings...imagine that. Erin then passes out because the tea was drugged...of course.

When Erin awakes, she finds herself in the creepy house surrounded by Leatherface's creepy fucked up family. Leatherface tosses her down into his workshop and locks her in down there. She spots Andy and tries to help him off the meat hook but is unable to lift him. In pain, Andy begs her to end it. Erin kills him. She then finds Morgan still alive. The little boy from earlier pops up and tells them to follow him. They follow him but Leatherface is right behind them with his chainsaw.

Erin and Morgan manage to make it out of the house and into an abandoned house/shack and try to hide from Leatherface. But Leatherface finds Erin. Morgan, seeing Erin in danger, rushes from his hiding spot to attack Leatherface. Leatherface switches his attention to Morgan now and hooks his handcuffs on a chandelier (because all abandoned houses/shacks have handy chandeliers!) before sawing through his dick and killing him...lovely way to go. Erin flips her shit and GTFO of there.

Leatherface gives chase but ends up cutting his leg with his chainsaw giving Erin time to get away. She comes to a road and stops a car but the car drives off (what a dick...). She then manages to find a slaughterhouse (fitting), but Leatherface finds her. Erin grabs a cleaver and hacks off one of Leatherface's arms (good for her but...kinda doubt that's possible) before running off.

She manages to stop a trucker and get a ride with him. During which we see Erin pretty much copy what the suicidal girl at the beginning said. And she acts like the girl did too...(dumbass). So the trucker stops the truck, gets out and informs the people at the gas station he picked Erin up and he needs help with her. So the family goes outside to listen to the mans story, leaving the baby alone. Erin sneaks in and steals the baby and hot wires the sheriffs car and then promptly runs the sheriff over and over again until the fucker dies. She then escapes with the baby.

The movie ends with the narrator telling us the two cops in the "police reenactment footage" were fatally injured by Leatherface and that Leatherface is still out there.

My thoughts - Well it suffers from cliches up the ying yang, but most slasher films do. I like the actress who plays Erin and some of the actors/actress's who play the family members but most of them suck at acting...or their characters were poorly written.

I have no real strong feelings for this one. I will say that it's too dark. I mean that literally, it's hard to see things in the basement/workshop and in a few other places in the movie. And that gets on my nerves...it's not scary if I can't fucking see it. It's a so-so movie...I wonder how it holds up to the original...

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Rosemary's Baby Review

Back to the classics again since this one is the original movie! Thank goodness. I've only read the book (which was several years ago now) and never seen the movie so this will be new for me.

Title - Rosemary's Baby

Genre - Psychological horror

Year - 1968

The movie starts with a young couple getting shown an apartment. Guy cracks a joke about pot, which is a little weird? I mean I know it's the 60's and free love and all that but I would think in mainstream media (figuring that this movie was seen by a lot of people) they wouldn't do that. The man showing them the apartment spots a large piece of furniture blocking a closet and asks Guy to help him move it. And they reveal...nothing lol, just a normal closet.

Down on the street Rosemary begs Guy for the apartment and he says yes.

Over to where Rosemary and Guy currently live (?), they have dinner with their friend and the owner of the building they live. He tries to get them to stay by telling them horror stories about the new apartment buildings evil past. But they don't take his words of warning to heart...big mistake.

We see Guy and Rosemary move into the new and now empty apartment. And for some reason pick the floor to fuck on...personally I would have picked up against the wall but...that's just me.

Cue montage of them getting the place fixed up and looking better.

Down in the basement Rosemary meets Terry, one of her neighbors. Terry talks about the couple she lives with (the Castevets) and how they saved her from the streets. She then shows Rosemary a "good luck charm" necklace they gave her.

Back up in their apartment Rosemary and Guy hear some creepy chanting next door while making out...talk about a mood killer.

We switch to Rosemary and Guy walking back to the apartment at night when they find out that Terry has killed herself by jumping out the window of the apartment she shares with the Castevets. Which we then meet. Weird people to say the least.

The next day, Mrs. Castevet comes by and talks to Rosemary and looks around the apartment. Mrs. Castevet then invites Rosemary and Guy to dinner.

Later Guy comes home and tells Rosemary he didn't get a part in a play. They decide to go over to the Castevets for dinner. Mr. Castevet flatters Guy by telling him he really liked what he did in one of the plays he was in. Nothing much else happens here, other then Guy seemingly getting sucked in by Mr. Castevets stories and flattery.

The next day (?), Mrs. Castevet and her friend sort of barge their way into Rosemary and Guy's place to talk with Rosemary (man is Mrs. Castevet annoying!). She then gives Rosemary Terry's old necklace which is filled with Tannis Root and insists that Rosemary wears it.

Later she and Guy talk about the necklace and Rosemary dislikes it so much that she decides to put it away and not wear it. Guy then gets a phone call telling him he's got the part in the play he wanted because the actor who originally got it suddenly went blind.

Rosemary unhappily talks to her and Guy's friend and tells him about the part in the play and how Guy seems distant. At least I assume that's the friend and not a shrink...

Back home Guy surprises Rosemary with lots of roses and tells her that he want's to have a baby with her. They settle in to have a very romantic evening together when Mrs. Castevet drops off two chocolate mouses for them. The two dig into them but Rosemary picks up a "chalky" under taste and throws hers out after a few bites (that would be the drugs...lol). She then passes out and has...a very fucked up dream. And I do mean fucked up...surprising they show that much in a movie from the 60s...

When Rosemary wakes up she finds scratches on her body, which Guy apologizes for saying he didn't want to miss "baby night". Rosemary seems less then pleased that Guy fucked her while she was asleep...yeah that wasn't the only thing that fucked you lady.

Rosemary goes to see a doctor to see if she's pregnant yet and gets a call later from him informing her she's carrying the spawn of Satan...oh wait I mean that's she's pregnant. Guy get's home and Rosemary tells him she's pregnant. The first thing he wants to do is tell the Castevets...weird. So the Castevets come over...oh bother. Minnie insists on having Rosemary go to a friend of hers instead of the doctor she was going to. That night she gets up out of bed and put's the necklace on...for some weird reason.

The next day the doctor basically tells her to only listen to him and Minnie when it comes to the baby (I'd get warning signs about this time...but Rosemary's just a dumb blond I guess.) and Minnie sets out to making her some sort of herbal drink that's better then pills...

Time passes and we see Rosemary grow thin and pale and crave nearly raw meat (big HUGE red flashing warning signs Rosemary ya dumbass...). She and Hutch talk about these things, which makes Hutch worry about her. They also talk about the Castevets.

Later on Rosemary goes out to meet Hutch for lunch and to talk. She waits for a while but when Hutch is a no show, she worries and calls him finding out he fell into a coma. Minnie then comes across her walking along and seeing she doesn't feel well, insists on taking Rosemary home.

During the New Years party Rosemary complains about the pains getting worse to her doctor but he brushes her worries aside.

Rosemary begins to suspect things (FINALLY) and throws Minnie's nasty drinks out. She throws a party with her friends (no one under 60 allowed), when she finally breaks down in front of her girl friends. Her friends insist that she goes to another doctor because the pain isn't normal (gee really?).

After the party Rosemary tells Guy she's going to see another doctor and that she's been throwing Minnie's drinks out. Guy gets pissed off and Rosemary yells she wants to go see another doctor no matter what when the pain suddenly stops and the baby moves. She makes Guy feel but he pulls away quickly (I guess knowing what's inside her...).

Cue montage of them getting baby stuff, Rosemary gaining weight and going back to drinking Minnie's nasty drinks (idiot).

Then one night she get's a call learning Hutch has died.

The next day (?) she goes to the cemetery and meets with some woman who knew Hutch. She gives Rosemary a book Hutch wanted her to have and tells her "The name is an anagram."

Getting home she sets about finding out what Hutch meant. At first she tries the name of the book, but finding nothing she turns to the name in the book that Hutch highlighted. And finds out the anagram is Mr. Castevats name.

Guy comes home and Rosemary tells him about the book and how Mr. Castevats is in it. Guy brushes her worries off and takes the book away from her.

Rosemary voices her concerns to her doctor and he agrees with her and proscribes her pills since she said she's not letting Minnie give her any more drinks.

Next we see the Castevats leave for a trip. After that Rosemary learns Guy through her book out (gee really? Dick.).

Later Rosemary goes out of her way to get more books on witchcraft and tosses the necklace the Castevats gave her. Suspicious, she sets about learning if all these odd events that have happened along the way have been because of witchcraft (the guy who was to play in the play but fell blind...). Freaked out, she packs her things and leaves to go see her doctor.

But when she learns that he smells of tannis root (from his secretary) she leaves, scared. She calls Dr. Hill insisting that she needs to see him NOW. He agrees on a meeting. She goes to his office and talks to him. Thinking she's lost it, he calls Guy and her other doctor. They force her to come home with them.

At the apartment building she "accidentally" drops some items and runs into the elevator when they distractedly pick up the items. Running for her apartment she just manages to get in and lock them both out. But while she's on the phone, they manage to sneak into the apartment (and bring the coven...). The doctor sedates Rosemary and she goes into labor.

Upon waking Rosemary learns that her baby is dead, she flips her shit and calls them liars and witches (little late for that dummy). The doctor sedates her again.

Afterwards she seems...dazed? For a lack of a better word...in shock I guess. She eventually hears a baby crying. Which makes her start worrying again so she stops taking her pills. Then in the middle of the night she gets up and cleans out that closet that was blocked off. She reveals a secret door connecting her apartment and the Castevats apartment. She goes back to the kitchen to grab a knife when she hears someone coming, she hides. They then leave and she continues on with her mission.

She enters the apartment and comes across the coven having a party. She spots a black crib and approaches it, holding her knife. She then learns the baby is the spawn of Satan. To which the coven happily says "Hail Satan". Yep...

Shocked by this, Rosemary cries to the heavens. Guy comes to comfort her but she spits in his face (she should have kept the knife and killed him...). The demon spawn starts crying and stirred by the cries Rosemary goes to rock him. And instead of killing it like she should...she smiles and accepts him as her child...dumb bitch.

My thoughts: I like the book a lot more but both the book and movie are...stupid in my opinion. Rosemary is such a dumb bitch...so she's unlikable. And the fucking Castevats! Don't get me started on them.

I mean the movie isn't "horrible". The acting is...so-so, there's no real special effects or anything great like that...for a movie made in the 1960s it's ok. Personally unless you like the book, I wouldn't recommend the movie. I can't say much good about this movie...wish I could.

Monday, October 5, 2015

My 2015 Halloween Mood Table

Taking inspiration from Dinosaur Dracula! once again, I decided to finally do my own take on a Halloween mood table. What is a mood table? A Halloween mood table is a surface (any surface really, table/chair/upturned bucket...whatever floats your boat) that you COVER with anything and everything that SCREAMS Halloween to you. Like a "shrine" to Halloween. Let's say...zombies scream Halloween...slap as much zombie stuff as you can on a table and that's your mood table!

The point of a mood table is to represent Halloween and whenever you look at it, it makes you just FEEL Halloween. Some people put things like movies/games/books to watch/play/read over the course of October. Others put a bucket of candy and tell themselves they have to empty it by Halloween. Personally I don't have a ton of space to work with so I'm just going with the basic decoration idea.

I like the idea of "themed" tables so my theme is "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" as in half good, half bad.


In this picture the left is the "good" or cute stuff and the right is the "bad" or scary stuff. Split in the middle is a creepy light up Jack O Lantern.

Good side (from top to bottom of pic):

- Stuffed Ray Ghostbuster plush
- Purple Frankenstein head filled with Chupa Chup's!
- Ceramic potion bottle labeled "ghost goo"
- Vintage (?) Jack O Lantern metal lantern thing
- Cookie tin
- Hello Kitty gothic snow globe
- Hello Kitty plush dressed as a bat
- Day of the Dead candle holder
- Dino Drac's "Death Bag" I got in his fun pack last month

Middle:

- Dino Drac's ugly mini poster
- Creepy Jack O Lantern
- Day of the Dead cookie tin

Bad side:

- Light up gothic candelabra
- Cool/spooky Voodoo Skeleton doll
- Vintage Halloween ceramic cat thing (seriously no idea what this is other then it's old)
- Purple box is a cute fake witch cafe thing...
- Fake bloody hand
- Fake spider
- Light up mini Jack O Lantern

I also have a strand of hanging skeleton's above it all.






Up close shot for details. Ignore the clutter in the back.

I also put my little figurines and more breakable items on my desk to decorate it a little, but since it's not as jam packed as the table, I didn't bother with pictures.

I've also yet to put up lights but I plan to later, it's just a struggle and a half figuring out how to hang them when you have NO HANGERS!!!

This is the first time thus far since starting this blog that I've really felt..."festive". I guess it's because I got knocked down hard by a awful sore throat and I'm still recovering from it. Just haven't had the energy, plus this damned Horrorthon.

And that's what a Halloween mood table is supposed to do. It's supposed to put you in the mood for Halloween and it did it's job very well.

I'm all ready planning next year's mood table...it's going to be Day of the Dead or zombies...I plan on hitting up all the stores JUST after Halloween for the sales and grabbing all the Day of the Dead and zombie crap I can.

Psycho Review

Well checking the year on the DVD again (a little late now) I find out once more, I have a remake, not the original. Makes me realize I need to buy the original movies. So the version I have supposedly...sucks. I've seen this version before and I think the classic one...I kinda like this one. It's not horrible...I mean some of the acting is less then...great (Vince Vaughn) but it's not as bad as a lot of people say it is. Plus I like color movies more lol.

So with that in mind let's start.

Title - Psycho

Genre - Horror

Year - 1998

We start the movie off in Phoenix, Arizona on December 11th, 1998. And are greeted with the view of a couple in bed at a cheap hotel. The woman tells her boyfriend she has to leave to get back to work and we get some filler dialog but learn the boyfriends name is Sam. I just want to say...I hate her hair. That style of hair works on some people but damn it's ugly on her.

So off to work she goes. Marion arrives at work to find her boss is still out at lunch with some big account. She blathers on with another chick and in pop her boss and the big spender. Big spender flirts with Marion and pulls out $400,000 that he plans to buy the house her boss is selling. The boss uncomfortable with that much money, tells Marion to store it in the safe deposit box. Talk about trusting your employees lol.

Marion leaves work, complaining of a headache. At home she packs her suitcase and debates about taking the money. She eventually settles and takes the money. In the car we hear a conversation she had earlier with her boyfriend (she's planning on giving him the money to get out of debt.), she and her boss spot each other, which worries Marion.

She drives until she's to tired and pulls over on the side of the road to rest. A police officer spots her and pulls over to investigate. When he wakes her up she freaks out and tries to flee but he stops her. They talk and he questions her a little before letting her go.

Marion makes her way to a city and stops at an car dealer to trade her old car for something new. Unfortunately for her seems the cop that she met earlier, and thought was following her...really was as he parks across the street and watches her.

What ticks me off about this movie (and I assume the original has this as well...can't remember) is that Marion is making herself really suspicious. Acting dodgy with the cop, making the car dealer rush on the trade...of course people are going to check into her if you act like that. Idiot.

Anyways she drives off in the new car and worries over the cop and her boss and blah blah blah. So these conversations we hear...are they real or just what she thinks will be said? It happened all ready with her boyfriend but I thought that was real, so I kinda have my doubts now.

She drives till nighttime and it starts raining so hard she can't see where she's going, she spots the Bates Motel sign all lit up and decides to stop for the night. Marion goes into the office but finding no one there, runs back to the car and honks. We catch a glimpse of a "woman" in the house beyond the motel before someone exits the house and comes down to the motel.

We then meet the owner of the motel, Norman Bates. Who's very...awkward. He shows her to her room and invites her to have dinner with him. She agrees and he goes off to prepare. While she for some reason searches for a place to hide her money. Finding a spot (in a newspaper? Really...ok.), she over hears Norman and his "mother" argue about Marion coming up for dinner.

Norman comes back with food and tells her to join him in the office. They then go to the parlour witch is filled with creepy taxidermy birds. Norman goes on to talk about said...gross and creepy birds...and his mother. At some point Marion asks if it wouldn't be better to put her "some place" at which point Norman gets angry at her. She then says she needs to get to bed and leaves also letting slip her real last name (she signed in with a fake name). Norman goes to check the log and sees she lied about her name.

Norman then pulls down a picture, revealing a peephole into Marion's room and watches her undress while...jerking off lol. Once he finishes, he runs back up to the house.

Back to Marion, she decides to take a shower (is it just me or is there no soap bubbles? I see soap in her hand but...not one bubble? Cheap soap.). While she showers, we someone enter the bathroom silently, yank back the shower curtain and stab Marion. Cue the famous stabbing scene.

Norman finds his "mother" with blood on her and runs to check on Marion and finds her dead. He goes and turns all the outside lights off and grabs a mop and bucket, planning on cleaning up the crime. He drags Marion's body out of the bathroom and lays her on the shower curtain, then cleans out the tub (better use bleach...they can pick up blood traces even if you wipe it away.). Once done cleaning, he moves Marion's car into position and puts Marion and her items (along with the mop and bucket) into the trunk. He then drives her car to a nearby swamp and pushes the car into it. And watches it sink, eating and smiling like the sick bastard he is.

Over to Marion's boyfriend, Sam. We see him writing Sam a letter in the back room of the local hardware store, when who pulls up in a cab, but Marion's sister. She comes in and tells Sam that she hasn't seen Marion since Friday. Then in comes a private eye. And Sam learns not only is Marion missing, but she stole $400,000. The private eye swears he'll find her.

Cue montage of the private eye checking in at all the hotels/motels/bed and breakfasts looking for Marion before he pulls up to...the Bates Motel. He asks Norman a few questions and shows him Marion's picture. At first Norman lies about having seen Marion but he slips up in the lies and has to "fake" remember she was there. To sum up this part...just pure awkwardness. Norman can't lie for shit.

The private eye leaves and calls Lila (Marion's sister) and informs her that Marion had stayed at the Bates Motel. He decides to go back to the motel to snoop around. He tries to find Norman but upon not finding him, he goes up to the house and just walks in (er...pretty sure that's illegal buddy.). He creeps up the stairs but at the top Norman's "mother" attacks him and kills him.

Back to Lila and Sam, Lila gets fed up and tells Sam she's going to go check out the Bates Motel but Sam stops her and says he'll go.

Cutting back to Norman, we see him at the swamp (presumably getting rid of the private eye and his car...I say that because while I don't see the car going under, I do hear something bubbling.) and Sam looking around at the motel. Not finding anyone Sam starts to yell for the private eye, which Norman hears.

Back at the hardware store, Sam tells Lila he didn't find the private eye or Bates. Sam figures they should go talk to the sheriff out there, so they head over to his place and tell him the story.  The sheriff calls Norman asking about the private eye and then tells Lila and Sam that Norman said he left and didn't come back. Lila brings up that he was supposed to talk to Norman's mother but the sheriff reveals that his mother has been dead for ten years. Sam tells the sheriff he saw an old woman in the house at the motel, but the sheriff wonders who it could be then.

Over to Norman we hear him talk to his "mother" and tell her he needs to hide her. He then comes out carrying her down the stairs.

The next day Sam and Lila drive to the motel, planning on checking in as husband and wife and searching the motel for any clues. They check in and decide to check out the 1st room. They find a scrap of paper with 400,000 written on it. Lila insists on talking to Norman's "mother". Sam finds Norman and talks to him, giving Lila a chance to go talk to Norman's "mother". Lila enters the house and goes up to Norman's "mother's" room but finds no one there. She then wanders into Norman's room...which is creepy as fuck considering a grown man sleeps there. A combination of kids toys and porno mags...lovely. Sam continues to poke at Norman, finally pissing him off enough to grab a golf club and hit Sam with it.

Worried that Lila is in the house, Norman rushes up to the house, while Lila hides from him. He goes upstairs, leaving her to go down to the basement. She comes across the "workshop" when she finds Norman's "mother". Lila turns the chair the "mother" is sitting in revealing...she's a mummy! Lila freaks out and along comes Norman...dressed as his mother. But there's Sam to the rescue! They subdue Norman.

Outside a courthouse we see a group of rabid vultures (whoops, sorry my mistake...it's a bunch of news people.) talking to police. Inside the courthouse we see Sam, Lila and the sheriff talking. The shrink comes in and reveals that Norman's "mother" was a side to him (a split personality) and that side has now taken over. He tells them that Marion and the private eye are both dead in the swamp. He then tells them that Norman's mother and her lover were killed by Norman and that Norman was mentally disturbed ever since his father died. He goes on to tell them what Norman did to keep his "mother" around.

The movie ends with the police pulling Marion's car out of the swamp.

My thoughts: After re-watching it I can sort of see why it got the flak it did. It's super cheezy and while for the original that was ok because that's what it was ok to do back then, in the 90's...it's just not right. I know they were going for an updated version of the original so they pretty much copied the original scene to scene but...blah. I actually like Vince Vaughn's acting most of the time but this movie was not right for him, or anyone in it really. They should have never remade it.

If you're going to watch Psycho...get the original copy. I fucked up lol. I don't recommend this movie for ANYONE.

Sunday, October 4, 2015

Misery Review

I have to admit, I've been looking forward to this one for a while. Misery is my favorite horror movie, The Shining is a close second and while Rocky Horror is great as well it's not really "horror" in my eyes so it doesn't count. As to why I put it in my Horrorthon if it's not actual horror? It's a musical that makes fun of classic horror b-movies...how can I not put it in? But that's for later.

I've read the book a few times and the movie is pretty faithful to the book I think. Where as The Shining had a lot of differences. Or if there are differences they're so slight, I don't notice them. Why it's my favorite horror movie...this is kinda creepy but I get what Annie feels for Paul. If you love someone THAT much and she does...then of course you want them with you...forever. Like I said it's creepy I know. I'm not as insane as Annie since I'd never hurt someone like that (more so if I loved them) but I get it. And it connected me to the movie...I really enjoy it and I enjoy Paul's struggle to get away from this crazy bitch haha.

And I'm starting earlier on this review then I have before! It's now 4:00 PM...let's see when I finish it. 11 PM I guess. I did take a few breaks though so...if I cut down on that...I guess I can get it done faster? But not by much. It's made me realize that I don't like doing this. But I said 31 reviews and I'll stand by it...unfortunately. I don't think I'll ever attempt this again. Mainly because the payout is...not there. I get hardly any page views or comments. So why bother?

Title - Misery

Genre - Psychological thriller

Year - 1990

We open up with that lovely click clackity click of a typewriter (am I the only one that really likes that sound?) and see Paul Sheldon finish the last page of his new novel (we also get to see the trademark single cigarette/match and a bottle of Dom Perignon he has at the end of every finished novel.). He seems to be...moody here (since I know the story I'll take a shot and think it's relief that he's finally wrote something other then Misery Chastain novels and maybe a bit of anxiety, wondering if he can write anything other then Misery Chastain novels...what a mix of emotions lol.).

Paul packs up his new novel and leaves his rented cabin in his car while a very catchy song plays (it's Shotgun by Jr Walker btw) and we get a lovely view of the snowy Colorado mountains (gee...what other movie/book took place in snowy Colorado mountains...heh.). As the snow starts to come down heavier, Paul hits a patch of ice (at least it looks/sounds like he does) and skids out of control, flipping his car over the side of a hill. We get a little flashback (?) to his life before the accident and see him meet with his publisher Marcia and they talk about how he's killed off Misery in his latest book and how he never "meant for it to become my life".

Back to the present, luckily for him (or not) someone happens upon him and saves him...and his new novel lol. I still find it a little hard to believe Annie can pick him up like that (while it's snowing!) and climb up the hill with him. I know she lives on a farm in the middle of nowhere and has to be strong and the book describes her as being a very big and powerful woman but damn...

Paul wakes up groggy and confused to "I'm your number one fan." (creepy lol) in bed. Annie introduces herself and tells him she's a nurse and he's safe. Later (the next day or a few days since Paul looks less...out of it) Annie disconnects his IV and gives him more pain killers (Novril, which is basically a fake Codeine) and also explains why he isn't in the hospital and the phone lines are down. I sort of wonder what would have happened if Annie had found someone other then Paul? Would she have left the poor person to die or saved them...god only knows. I lean to the let them die theory. Because she later on says something like "I drove up to the cabin (that he rents) hoping to see you." So she knew he was there, and what car he was driving. My theory is she followed him, saw him wreck and saved him because she loves him so much. If it was any other person, I doubt she would have stopped.

Back to the movie...later on Annie reveals to him his broken legs (saying how proud she is of having stabilized them). She tells him he'll be able to walk and his dislocated shoulder will be fine as well. She tells him as soon as the roads are clear she'll take him to a hospital.

In New York we see Marcia worried about Paul, calling the local Silver Creek sheriff. She reveals that he's been missing since last Tuesday and that's why she's so worried. He promises to put his name through his "system" (which looks to me to be a messy notice board of papers...I mean I doubt this little town out in the Colorado mountains has an actual computer system...but who knows.). He asks his wife when the blizzard was and ponders on the fact it was the same day Paul went missing.

We go back to Paul and Annie and Paul is getting a little shave. Paul remarks on how it was a "miracle" she found him. Annie reveals she had been following him. Paul asks about the phone lines, wanting to call his daughter and Marcia. Annie says they're still down but she'll keep trying for him, she then asks to read the new novel in his case. He says she can since she saved him and she's very thrilled.

Cut up to the Silver Creek Lodge, we see the sheriff there asking about Paul.We learn not much other then he always orders Dom Perignon when he finishes a novel and is always a good guest, never doing anything weird.

Back to Annie and Paul, Annie's feeding him soup when she brings up how she dislikes the swearing in the novel. Annie argues with Paul about this and ends up getting so flustered she spills soup on his bed (and here we get the first glimpse that Annie isn't...normal.). Annie apologizes to Paul and tells him she loves him (his mind and creativity that is...sureeee Annie...sure.). Annie leaves and Paul seems to get a little worried about Annie and being alone in her house with her.

We switch over to the sheriff and his wife driving back down from the Lodge when the sheriff spots a broken limb on a tree and tells her to stop (really? a broken limb makes you stop? and how the hell did you notice it...). The sheriff climbs down the hill to investigate a little before he gives up because the snow is too deep (and we see just a little bit farther...Paul's cars tire sticking out of the snow...so close yet so far lol). We see Annie drive past them both.

Back at her home, Paul wakes up to Annie entering his room with a new copy of his last Misery novel. Paul asks if the roads are clear then but Annie says just the one to town is and that she "called" the hospital and talked with a doctor here. He asks about the phones working and she says the ones in town do but hers is still out and that she "called" Marcia. She blathers on about how good the first parts of the new book are but Paul interrupts her talking about his daughter and how he wants/needs to talk to her. She tells him he'll have to wait till tomorrow for that. She then goes to get him some food.

Time passes and we get introduced to Annie's pig, Misery. She comments on how his book and the Sistine chapel painting are the only two divine things in this world (and also letting loose a racial slur for Italians, showing she's a bit backwards...). This scene is sort of funny but mainly...a little unnerving? Paul seems to show signs of being unnerved as well at this point.

Later that day, Annie talks about her ex husband and how because she was so lonely she started reading a lot and that's how she discovered the Misery books. Cue awkwardness as it's revealed Paul was...answering natures call while she was talking. She leaves him saying she'd love to stay and talk but she's at the end of the book and want's to finish it.

That night Annie enters Paul's room, obviously shaken up that Misery dies. She rant and raves at Paul, scaring the crap out of him before leaving him. She tells him before she leaves that she never called anyone, so no one knows he's here or alive. And she states "you better hope nothing happens to me, because if I die, you die". She then leaves him alone in the house and drives off.

Alone now, Paul struggles to get out of his bed before falling on the floor, hurting himself. Honestly this scene still makes me flinch. If I was in that position...I don't think I could do what Paul does. I mean I know it's a matter of life and death but...damn. He then manages to drag himself to the door, at which point he finds out Annie locked the door. Whoops...

We go back to the Sheriff who's talking to Marcia, and we learn that now the search has expanded now that he's working with the FBI (why the FBI? because he's a big shot writer?) and the state police on finding Paul.

Back to Annie, she finds Paul sleeping on the floor. She helps him into the bed, telling him she has a surprise for him, but he has to do something first. She absentmindedly lets slip a little clue (how she was on a witness stand in Denver.) while she tells him about how she talked to god about him (is it just me or does Stephen King paint religious people as...nut jobs? First Carrie's mother and now Annie...hm.) and how god brought them together so that Annie could "show him the way". She then wheels in a little outdoor grill. She starts pouring lighter fluid on his new novel and hands him a match saying "you must rid the world of this filth". Damn Annie...was the new novel that bad? She then shows off how much of an obsessed fan she is by telling him how she knows it's the only copy because he's superstitious about stuff and never makes more then one copy of a novel when he's writing it.

Paul makes no attempt at lighting the match so Annie "threatens" him by "absentmindedly" throwing lighter fluid all over his blankets. He finally gives in and lights the match, tossing it into the grill, setting his novel aflame. He watches with regret as the novel burns. We then hear a helicopter flying and see the sheriff and the pilot in it looking for Paul's car. But not finding anything they leave, letting Paul lose hope that help was coming. Annie gives Paul his pills and leaves with the grill. Paul debates about taking them, but ends up hiding the pills under his mattress. Later that night while Annie is upstairs watching TV, Paul uses his fork to rip a hole in the mattress and hides his pills in the hole.

The next day Annie pushes him in a wheelchair revealing to him the "surprise" he's going to get now that he burned his novel. He's going to write Misery's Return! Oh joy of joys...haha, poor Paul...he just wanted to be rid of the bitch but Annie just had to bring her back. She sets up his new "studio", while he is...less then thrilled with the idea. Annie leaves him for a few moments when he just so happens to spot a single bobby pin on the floor. She comes back with paper, but Paul tells her it's the wrong type because it "smudges" (pretty sure any paper would do that if you try to rub just typed letters...fresh ink and all.). She gets pissed off about it and tells him she'll get better paper, before slamming the ream of paper down on his legs (ow!) and leaving.

Paul then grabs the bobby pin and unlocks his door with it. He tries the front door but finds it locked as well (I guess he can't pick it with the bobby pin because it's a different lock?), so he rolls into the living room finding a phone. But he discovers the phone is just for show (creepy).

We cut to Annie in town, loading up her truck with the new paper and heading back home (uh oh Paul...better hurry!).

Back to Paul he slowly rolls around investigating the house. While he does this he knocks a small glass figure down but catches it before it breaks (thinking he saved himself from letting Annie know he was out of his room, he replaces it...but in the wrong position...whoops.). He spots a memory book (important later on...) and a small "shrine" to himself with all his books and a signed photo of him (interesting so did he meet her before or did she buy it like that...). He rolls to a small closet in which he spots Annie's rather large supply of drugs, and grabs a pack of the Novril. He makes his way to the kitchen, but finds the door is to small for his wheelchair so he has to drop out of it and crawl along the floor. He makes his way across to the back door but finds it's of course locked. He spots the knife holder when he hears Annie's truck pulling up (making for one of the most tense scenes of the movie! But I wonder how he knows it's Annie? I guess he knows what the truck sounds like...or maybe he knows no one else would bother coming here?). He quickly crawls back to the wheelchair and gets the hell out of the kitchen as quick as he can. Paul then uses the bobby pin to relock his door (didn't know you could do that...) and gets back into position just as soon as Annie opens his door.

Annie notes how sweaty he is and asks why, and Paul tells her because he's suffering in pain. He begs her to give him his pills and she gives in and goes to get them, giving him time to hide the pills he stole. She then comes back, gives him the pills and puts him to bed before leaving. We then see Paul cheeked his pills.

Next scene we see the sheriff and his pilot spot Paul's car hidden in the snow (about time!). Down on the ground we see a state cop (I assume) tell the news that they assume Paul is dead, but can not find his body. We go back to the sheriff and his wife and the sheriff notices the marks on the car door (that Annie made when she was trying to get him out) and he doesn't think Paul died the way the state cop says Paul died (which makes me wonder why the state cop wouldn't notice that as well and think something fishy was up...why is it this little "hick" town sheriff notices this?).

Back to Paul and we see him make a small paper "packet" for the drugs. He cracks them open and once he makes sure they don't give off any smell or taste (which isn't actually true. According to the book Novril is bitter...like most medicine!) he pours the powder into the packet and eats the outside casing (blah...).

Later on we see Paul beginning the new Misery novel when Annie comes in to tell him that the novel is all wrong and he'll have to do it over. When he says she might be a little hasty, she explains the novel isn't "fair" and goes on to tell him why she thinks that (showing once more...she's completely nuts.).

So Paul rewrites it and Annie approves. He then asks Annie if she's like to have dinner together to celebrate the start of the new novel, she agrees dreamily and walks away.

Ah dinner, the main event...let's see if Paul can get his way. Annie and Paul settle in to dinner then Paul proposes a toast and asks Annie for some candles. Going to find them, Paul then drugs her wine with the pill power he's been saving. Coming back with the candle she lights it and they go to toast but she knocks over the candle and spills her wine (and to this day I still wonder if she knew he drugged it and did it on purpose...). They then toast to Misery (what a fitting toast...).

Time passes on as we see Paul doing his best to write the book Annie wants. Nothing much happens during this time other then we see Paul lifting the heavy typewriter to get stronger.

One stormy night as Paul is working out with the typewriter, he hears Annie coming and quickly puts it down. We see Annie looking and sounding...unusually down for her normal self. Paul asks why and she starts talking about how she loves him and he'll eventually leave her. She then pulls out a gun and creeps Paul out before leaving the house and driving off. Ah she's such a crazy bitch haha. Paul takes this time to grab a knife from the kitchen.

We pop over to the sheriff and see him catching onto a quote in one of Paul's Misery books (which is important for later.)

Back to Paul he goes back to his room but before he goes in, he spots Annie's memory book open in the living room (I said it was important!). As he flips through the book (which gets darker and darker every page) he learns that Annie was behind a string of infanticide cases. He then goes back to his room and gets in bed. Annie returns but goes upstairs to her room and Paul hides the knife under his mattress. He then says "see you in the morning" and falls asleep. Ah...bad idea Paul...bad idea.

Annie then surprises him in the middle of the night, waking him up and injecting him with a drug. Which makes me wonder why wait for him to wake up? Just do it when he's asleep...? Also she didn't exactly stick it in a vein...right? idk I know it's all "Hollywood" magic and stuff but...sometimes little things like that annoy me.

Next morning Paul wakes up groggy and sees he's tied down to the bed. Annie tells him she knows he's been out of his room because her little figure was in the wrong position (bad luck Paul). He then starts to look for the knife he hid, which Annie then pulls out. What follows is one of the best scenes in movie history. To this day I have to look away when Annie "hobbles" Paul. And the sound? Jesus...

Later we see Annie driving into town when the sheriff notices her when she almost gets into an accident with someone. This sparks something in him and he runs off to the library to search for something. We see him spot the quote from Misery under a picture of Annie in the papers and he starts putting the pieces together. He goes over to the (general store?) and asks if Annie's bought any Misery books and anything odd...and he learns she's bought all the books and some typing paper.

The sheriff then gets the idea to go pay Annie a visit, much to Paul's delight. But that delight is short lived when Annie rushes in and drugs him again. She then hides him down in her hidden basement and goes to greet the sheriff. What follows is a great example of how twisted Annie's mind is (I mean did she make this up ahead of time in case anything was connected to her or is she doing this on the fly? She has a reason for everything, the paper, the typewriter...).

The sheriff does a brief look in her house before going to leave when he hears a crash (Paul downstairs!) and goes rushing back in. He then hears Paul yelling from downstairs. Unfortunately for him and Paul...Annie's got a boomstick (heh). She kills the sheriff and tells Paul she's ready to kill him and her next. To stop her, he tells her he loves her and she is right that they should die together (I wonder why she believes this when just before the sheriff came, he was trying to strangle her...) but the book must be finished before then. She agrees to it and goes back upstairs, giving Paul time to stick a can of lighting fluid down his pants (haha...writing that sounds funny.).

Paul then goes back to finishing the book much to the delight of Annie. Finishing the book, he tells Annie to prepare the three things he always has at the end of every finished book, while he himself prepares to fight Annie. She brings in the items but he tells her to get a glass for herself. She leaves to get it and Paul soaks the book in the lighter fluid and waits for Annie with the match ready. He sets it on fire and when she goes to put it out, he hits her over the head with the typewriter (ow that's gotta fucking hurt!) and the fight starts! She manages to shoot him in the shoulder but he tackles her making her fire the other shot into the air. They struggle before he manages to trip her and she slams her head into the typewriter. Thinking he's finally killed her, he starts crawling out of the room but she surprises him and jumps on his back. He finally does kill her with a heavy metal pig statue thing.

18 months later in New York and we see Paul limping along with a cane to go meet Marcia in a restaurant. They talk about his new book and Annie. Paul sees Annie as a waitress before she changes to a normal women who tells Paul, "I'm your number one fan.". Oh I doubt that honey...

My thoughts - As I've said this movie is my favorite horror film. And it's hard to see anything bad/wrong with it. I mean not that there's a lot but there are a few things that I pointed out...and watching it again, it does remind me there are differences between it and the book. Is it the most amazing movie ever? No not bar far but out of the (few) horror movies I have watched in my life so far, I like it the best. It doesn't have a ton of gore (just a little blood here and there) and no scary "monsters" (Annie is a monster but I mean stuff like the boogie man). Which is what I enjoy.

If your a fan of non monster/non gory horror films then you'll like this I bet. More so if you enjoy thrillers. Stephen King is know for thrillers and it continues on here in this movie. I'd actually recommend watching the movie BEFORE the book. Why? Well thriller books are...nice but they don't really "thrill" me like a thriller movie does. Nothing keeps me on the edge of my seat better then a nice thriller movie. Books can try and while I am a huge fan of books and they can make me feel so many emotions...thriller ones just don't give me the same emotion as the movies do. Like with horror books as well...words don't scare.

Christine Review

I liked my review of Carrie because I think I spoke my mind a lot more...but I ended up writing a LOT for it...idk if I can cut down on the amount I write...I was planning on having these be short reviews not a page long review.

I think I've seen the original Christine once before...so I know the basic story...evil car...nerd buys it and fixes it up...nerd turns into a completely different person...so on and so forth. Now on the DVD it says 1983 so I'm assuming it's the original...thankfully.

Hell I started this review at 7 PM thinking I'd have plenty of time for the review...it's now 12:12 PM...the next day!! I'm going to have to start these damn reviews as soon as I wake up if it really takes this long to write a review of a movie...jeez. Well I TRIED getting this done on the 3rd but I just couldn't.

Title - Christine

Genre - Psychological horror

Year - 1983

We open up to a plant in Detroit in 1957 while Bad to the Bone plays (such a great song...and a good choice for this car haha). And right off the bat, the car makes sure to show off how "bad" it really is, by crushing some guys poor hand with it's hood. Ow! I know how heavy those old car parts are (my dad owns a lot of old cars and parts for them) so that guy's hand is fucked. I didn't catch it but I wonder if he still has all his fingers lol. A guy then decides to get in the car (for some weird reason?) and turns on the radio (playing another great song...man this movie has some good music.). Few minutes later, he's dead...dun dun DUN! The evil car has claimed it's first victim!

We fast track to California in 1978 (with an updated version of the same song playing on the radio...this version I dislike...keep it classic man.) and see a guy driving a blue muscle car up to his friends house. His friend Arnie (the VERY stereotypical nerd...two seconds on screen and he's all ready kluzed up and dumped a bag of garbage all over the place.) comes out and grabs a ride from him. The movie goes on to point out how nerdy this guy is with a stupid scrabble joke...lol.

The two boys then hit school when we see a love interest (I think...I mean new girl at school and they take time to show her off to us...) walk past the boys. We then get to lunch time when we find out Arnie is getting bullied in shop class by Buddy, the schools jackass. Buddy proceeds to make fun of Arnie, stab his lunch bag with a switch blade (do that now and you'd have police all over your scrawny little punk ass) and stomp on poor Arnie's glasses...the typical bullying crap. Dennis then punches Buddy, which makes one of Buddy's goons grab him. And the weird thing...guy grabs his balls...wtf. I mean I know it's to hurt the guy but...uh...isn't it a little weird to grab another guy's junk?

The teacher finally comes to stop the bullies, at which point Dennis and Arnie turn him in for having a switch blade. He and his little friends get sent to the office, and he threatens Arnie some more in front of the teacher...talk about digging your grave.

We then see them driving in Dennis's car when Arnie freaks out and tells him to stop the car because he wants to look at something. And I say freak out because...he over does it honestly, I mean if you see something, you only have to tell them to stop the car and go back once..not over and over again. Anyways Arnie runs out of the car and over to "Christine", looking very worn out and dated. Arnie seems to be very...taken with Christine all ready, while Dennis tells him she's worn out. Then...cue creepy old guy with the keys. He wants $250 for Christine (which doesn't seem like a lot seeing how it does start up...but this is back in the 70's so wasn't money worth more then?) and Dennis insists that it's a bad deal but Arnie's all ready under the spell of Christine I guess...

Back at Arnie's home, his parents are less then thrilled that he bought a car...a junk heap at that as well. He has a big fight with his parents about it (they seem pretty strict...) and he drives off to the local junkyard. We meet the guy running the place (oy...what a loud mouth) and he leaves Christine there to store her and goes back home with Dennis. Dennis asks Arnie "what is it about that car" to which Arnie replies "I don't know, maybe it's just for the first time in my life, I've found something uglier then me." Which isn't the reason but ok if you say so crazy boy. That car's enchanted him...

The next part we start on October 9th and see some changes in Arnie all ready happening. He no longer has his glasses on and his hair is all slicked back. He's rummaging through the junk yard for parts which makes the guy running the place tell him that he's not going to rebuild his car for free, guy offers him a deal for the parts (which is kinda nice of him) but Arnie pisses him off saying he'll "think about it".

We cut to school and see Dennis and his two friends drooling over the new girl in school. Which makes me wonder why...the blond chick sitting in front of the new girl is much cuter...at least to me. Dennis then struts over to her to ask her out, but is shot down because she all ready has a date.

Back to Arnie, we see he's been acting strange lately, never staying home for long or hanging out with Dennis much. Both Dennis and his mother are confused as to what is going on with Arnie...but one thing is for sure...he sure does clean up good.

Dennis then goes the next day to accuse the old man who sold the car to Arnie about not telling them the whole truth about his brother and the car. Suspicious now, Dennis sneaks into the junk yard to check on Christine and tries to get in but Christine has the doors locked and plays a song about how "you can keep knocking but you can't come in", funny. Dennis bails. Interesting Christine didn't try to kill him...I guess she knows Arnie still likes Dennis?

Now it's the football game and we see Dennis playing. Arnie rolls up in his now restored Christine and Billy the asshole takes notice. Dennis also notices when Arnie pulls the new girl out of his car and starts making out with her, and this of course distracts him and he gets brutally tackled by another player on the other team. Whoops...

November 5th comes around and Arnie visits Dennis in the hospital. We find out Dennis can no longer play football (and is lucky he can still walk...) and Arnie has really changed from the geek we saw at the start of the movie.

Next scene is at a drive in movie (which little fun fact, is Thank God It's Friday.) and Arnie and Leigh (what a weird name for a girl...or anyone for that matter) are making out. Leigh stops Arnie, saying she can't and runs out of the car...into the rain...what? If you can't just tell him no and watch the movie don't fucking run out of the car into the rain. I mean if he didn't stop, then yeah run but...never gave him that chance even. Anyways she's jealous of the car because Arnie likes it more then her. Ok weird thing to freak out about while your making out but to each their own I guess? So one of the wipers on the windshield gets stuck, so Arnie runs out to fix it while Leigh starts to choke on her burger and Christine plays "we belong together". Arnie sees this and tries to save Leigh but Christine locks her doors. Leigh manages to unlock her door and someone pulls her out and starts using the heimlich maneuver, saving her.

Arnie then drives Leigh home, where they have a fight about Christine. Arnie leaves but Christine won't turn over, until he pleads with her saying "everything is the same", to which Christine turns on and plays "I love you like I do". Gee Christine...what are you trying to say?

So Arnie drives Christine back to the junkyard to store her, accidentally letting Billy and his goons in. After Arnie leaves, Billy and his goons go to town on bashing up Christine.

The next day we see Arnie and Leigh are together (even after that little fight about Christine...) at the junkyard because Arnie needs to get his wallet out of Christine. They walk in and Arnie spots Christine all smashed to pieces. Leigh tries to comfort Arnie but he flips out on her, shoving her back.

It's then dinner time at Arnie's house. Arnie accuses his parents of it being their fault that his car got busted up because he couldn't park his car there at home. They offer to buy him a new car and he tells his parents "fuck you". Lol...got some balls when your still living under their roof.

He winds up back at the junkyard looking at Christine, promising to fix her up, when Christine starts fixing herself up. Arnie then tells her to "show him" and Christine turns her lights on and repairs herself completely. Makes me wonder why she didn't do that after the bullies wrecked her? Maybe she wanted Arnie to see the damage and freak out/distance himself from everyone but her?

We cut to one of the bullies walking in the dark when he stops and spots Christine. Oh ho ho...the fun begins. So Arnie and Christine (at least I figure Arnie is driving...but we don't see him...so who knows) run down the bully and corner him in an abandoned factory area before squishing him to death...nice.

It's then November 23rd and we see Dennis asleep in the hospital. Arnie wakes him up with beer in hand. Beer and drugs...ooh good combo. They talk a little about Christine and how Billy must have been the one to wreck Christine. One thing to note...is it just me or is Arnie rocking a very "James Dean" look in this scene?

Next up Arnie's leaving school when a detective stops him and starts asking him about the work he's done on Christine. Impatient to leave he revs the engine at the detective but he keeps standing there. Frustrated he asks what the detective want's and he starts questioning Arnie on the paint color and the dead bully. Having nothing on him, Arnie leaves.

Arnie calls Leigh up at night, saying he needs to see her. Frustrated with her answers (or lack of) he tells her "fuck you bitch" and slams the phone down.

December 16th we see Billy and one of his goons at a liquor store buying booze. They drive off and along comes Christine! Christine then chases them till Billy pulls into a gas station and gets out of his car...just in time because Christine drives right into it! Christine then proceeds to ram Billy's car into his goon, killing him and spilling gas out of Billy's car. The station then goes up in flames, killing the gas attendant (who I guess was another goon of Billy's?). Christine backs up, with flames on her, while Billy runs away (haha...scared now?). Christine then runs Billy down (which is odd since Christine isn't driving that fast compared to Billy's running, I mean I know cars go faster then people run but...looks like Billy should be faster at that point?) and sets him on fire if running him over wasn't enough haha!

Back at the junkyard Christine drives in while Darnell (the owner of the junkyard) watches. He calls a guy named Henry asking if Arnie got there ok and if he was driving Darnell's car, informing us it really is Christine doing all of this on her own! Oooh such an evil car. He suspects someone stole Arnie's car and goes to check Christine out with a gun. Not seeing anyone inside, he gets in (why?) and is immediately locked inside. Christine then kills him by crushing him up against the steering wheel with her seats. Neat kill.

The next day Arnie arrives with Darnell's car and see's the junkyard full of cops. Running inside he finds out Darnell died in his car last night, along with all his bullies. Arnie swears he doesn't know anything about that stuff...and of course he doesn't...Christine did it all.

Leigh and Dennis meet up to talk about Arnie and Christine. What makes me wonder is why they're so quick to talk about destroying the car...it's a...car. Yeah some freaky shit is going down but it's a car, and in a normal world...that's all it would be. But it's a movie I know...sometimes I just wonder why they make the characters so quick to jump to conclusions about stuff.

So Arnie rolls up as soon as Leigh leaves and picks Dennis up for New Years. As they drive along we see the odometer running backwards (something that was hinted at earlier when Dennis snuck in to look at Christine). Not sure what that's all about? Anyways Arnie's drinking and driving fast (not a good combo) when he offers Dennis a beer and starts talking about death and such. Arnie then lets go of the wheel to show Dennis how the car can drive on it's own. Dennis starts freaking out and Arnie talks about how love eats up everything (most likely referring to the love of his car and how it's taken everything from him...maybe even warning Dennis of this?) and rambles on...showing how insane the car has made him.

The next day Dennis, sick of it all, cuts the words "Darnell's tonight" on Christine's hood. That night Dennis sneaks into Darnell's to open the front gate and let Leigh in. Funny she let's the guy with a bum leg do this...but this was before all the feminists getting up in arms about equality. So Dennis hot wires a tractor and drives it in position. He tells Leigh his plan to corner Christine and tells her to get into the office. They both get spooked by a car but it's not Christine (and I wonder who it was? the police shut the place down so...I'm sure most people would know it's closed down because it seems like a small town where word would travel around. And the car doesn't stop...but turns around...maybe someone lost but...weird all the same.).

As Leigh walks to the office, we see Christine turn her lights on...she was waiting. Tricky car. She then chases Leigh down, causing Leigh to leap up and grab something but she falls and injures herself (oh so now Dennis and her can match lol). Dennis starts up the tractor and uses it to block Christine from killing Leigh. Christine backs off and waits in the shadows for Dennis to come, and we see that Arnie is driving! Christine repairs herself while Dennis's tractor magically fails when he needs it to work. Christine/Arnie drives into the office trying to kill Leigh but Arnie flies through the windshield after he crashes into the office. We then see Arnie has a huge glass shard in him (interesting Christine let him get hurt...) and he pulls it out and dies. Dennis finally gets the tractor to start back up while Christine plays "I'll forever love you the rest of my days." and backs up trying to kill Leigh. Dennis rams Christine and proceeds to "kill" her as her odometer turns back to 0. Leigh runs to Dennis's arms for comfort but oh look Christine's still got life in her! She repairs herself and starts playing "Rock and roll is here to stay". She eventually does "die" and we see the next day they crushed her into a cube.

Leigh, Dennis and the detective stand looking at the cube of Christine when we hear music start to play. Leigh thinking it's Christine coming back, grabs Dennis but turns out it was just a worker and his radio (lol). As the movie ends we see some metal from Christine twitch...maybe letting us know "she's here to stay"? Cue Bad to the Bone again.

My thoughts: Oh this is a nice movie. Has some lovely songs (I like classic rock and roll so...of course I'll like the music here!) and some nice cars (even though I'm not a car person.). It suffers a little with some classic horror cliches (how everyone accepts the car is evil and shit...) but it's a good movie even with them. It's a good tale of revenge. Sort of like how Carrie was...the underdog getting even on the bullies...I like those movies because I was always the underdog myself so I know how it feels. In any rate it's a classic horror/revenge movie in my book and is good for anyone looking for horror movies outside the normal "Halloween's" and "Nightmare on Elm Street's". Nothing wrong with those movies but sometimes you want something...different and a killer car? Yeah that's different lol. One thing that bugs me with this movie is they never explain why Christine is like this...and everyone just accepts it was all Christine's fault and so on and so forth. A little back history would be nice...but I guess that's why you read the book right? I need to read the book...

Saturday, October 3, 2015

Carrie Review

Learning from my mistakes last time, hopefully I can do a better review. I've never actually seen Carrie before, so that might help some.

Again sorry about the late posting...I really need to watch these movies earlier on...it takes me a few hours to watch and write down my thoughts...

Title - Carrie

Genre - Supernatural horror

Year - 2002 (I thought this was the original one...turns out it's not! Darn. I wish I had the original...)

First view of the movie is a bloody knife and a woman holding a crying baby...this should be interesting? Then it cuts to a cheezy title screen with...meteors falling? First opinion on this movie so far is late 90's early 2000's cheezy movie. Not good.

Doesn't help when the typical high school drama crap kicks in with cheezy music playing. Carrie seems to be singled out as a "creepy religious person", and I seem to remember hearing something like that with the original movie...so maybe this newer version won't suck ass. It looks like we're going to go between the present with Sue and this detective and flash backs to before the prom.

And then we see the love interest! Tommy Ross, according to her drawing. And then cue the typical jerkoff assholes who notice Carrie staring at Tommy and have to point it out. But good one on Tommy for throwing his book at the jackass. They make another comment about her religion...which is a little odd? I mean I know originally this movie was set in the 70s but I think people were more religious then, then they are now. But what's odd is unless I'm very mistaken...she isn't practicing an "odd" religion right? I don't want to single out religions and call them odd, to each his or her own beliefs, but what I'm trying to get at is she's most likely a Catholic or Christian right? I mean the movie takes place in America (all ready guessed that much) and those are the two biggest religions here...right? So why are they picking on her for her religion if it's one of those two? Again never seen the movie before so no idea what religion she is...but still strikes me as odd.

Cue more crappy early 2000s music while Carrie fails at baseball and all the bitches at school make fun of her. Reminds me why I hate teenagers...male or female...bunch of pricks who need to be taught some fucking manners.

We then get a shower scene...oh lovely. I can only picture this going horribly wrong and...yep Carrie gets her period and is spotted by some random bitch, who runs to a group of bitches and tells them. Seriously? It's mother nature, every female that age gets it, but you bitches have to make fun of her for it? At some point the gym teacher comes to Carries rescue but not before shes most likely been emotionally scarred. Makes me wonder if the gym teacher is going to do anything to those fucking bitches...I doubt it. Carrie asks the gym teacher if shes dying, which tells me she's never had a period before...lovely. Poor girl. We also get the first glimpse that somethings not right with Carrie when the gym teacher slaps her to knock her out of it, making the light bulb above them burst.

And it looks like those bitches will get "disciplined" according to the...principal? So that's good at least. The principal says they're going to send her home and keeps fucking up her name, which pisses Carrie off and makes his desk move. Gee I wonder what this movie is implying...lol.

So walking down the hallway with everyone talking behind her back and watching her...she gets to her locker which has "Plug it up" written in red. Subtle. And of course when she opens her locker it's filled with tampons. Which makes me wonder how they got them in there...there's no slots on the lockers. So while all the tampons pour out, everyone laughs at her.

She then leaves school and walks home, when a boy on a bike spots her (does the whole town hate her or something? he looks too young to be a high school student.). He rides up to her and scares her by yelling "Creepy Carrie". Which causes Carrie to flip out and use her "power" to shove the little shit into a tree...hopefully breaking his arm.

As she walks up the stairs we get a flash back to Carrie's childhood where she spots a neighbor sunbathing. Carrie's actually pretty as a little girl (different actress I know but...they could have made her ugly as a kid too). We get to see a look into how weird Carrie's mom is (calling breasts, dirty pillows...lol what) when she drags Carrie into their house and starts talking...scripture? All while meteors fall on the house and surrounding area...now I know why they were on the title screen! Still cheezy.

Coming back to the present time, Carrie puts on a necklace with Jesus on the cross, confirming that she's Catholic (at least from what I've read that Catholics use the crucifixion cross and not a plain cross, and I know jack all about religion in general so if I get something wrong, sorry.). Upon entering the house we see more crucifixion crosses and her mother. And if to sink in more how weird her mom is...she calls getting a period a curse (well technically it is a fucking curse...anyone who's had one can tell you that!). Oh and she locks her daughter in a closet! Yep...she's weird.

We go back to Sue and the detective. The detective reads a short bit of prose by Carrie and asks her view on it and religion in general. This movie has a lot of religious stuff in it doesn't it? And I agree with Sue on the religion thing. I'm not religious at all but maybe if it was less gloom, doom, death, sins and hell...and about fun stuff...you might get me interested in it.

Back to Carrie in her closet, she's reading teen magazines she's somehow smuggled in under her mothers nose...heh. How rebellious, might be hope for her yet.

Now with five days till prom, we see the gym teacher get a little revenge on Carries behalf by throwing a bag full of tampons at the bitches who pranked Carrie. I like this teacher! The bitches have their hissy fit but the gym teacher stands strong. A shame the real harsh punishment wasn't enforced. All while this is going down Carrie looks up miracles using 1990s internet lol.

Four days till prom, seems one of the bitches was kicked out of school...ha! So some jerkass writes a note about Carrie and the class passes it around and starts snickering at Carrie while she looks like she's having a epileptic seizure. I guess shes trying to control her powers so she doesn't up and kill everyone? Which...why bother? I'd kill them all if I had that power.

Chris's father (bitch who got kicked out of school) shows up and harasses the principal and gym teacher because he's a big shot lawyer. But the principal actually shows he has some balls and stands up to the father for Carrie and several other girls who were bullied by Chris.

We cut to a bowling alley (which seems to be packed and hopping with high school kids...wth I doubt a bowling alley would ever be packed like that unless it was the 1950s and in Smalltown, USA.) when Chris confronts Sue about not having her back with the gym teacher.

After that we go back to Carrie who's testing out her powers by moving a hair brush on a table. She seems to be having a hard time focusing her powers (a little odd since she can bend metal and do all this destructive crap but moving a hair brush is hard? I guess because before she wasn't really "focusing" on it...?) when her mom interrupts her causing her to lose control of her powers and making all the stuff in her room float for a few seconds before crashing back to the floor. Neat powers...also makes me wonder why her mom didn't come into her room, yelling at her about that loud crashing sound...

We switch over to Sue and Ross. Sue's trying to convince Ross to take Carrie to the prom because she likes him and Sue thinks it'll be good for Carrie. Ross seems to hesitantly agree, even though he says it's a bad idea.

Cutting to Carrie looking up psychic powers in the library, Ross awkwardly asks Carrie to go to the prom with him. And I do mean awkward. He eventually gets her to say yes. And she looks happy for the first time since this movie started...

We go to Sue and the detective. The detective tells Sue that a lot of people think she was plotting with Chris and Ross to make fun of Carrie at the prom. Sue insists that she and Chris had a falling out (which idk...I kinda think Sue is a good girl deep down so I want to be on her side.).

Back to Carrie, she and her mother are sitting down eating cake (Betty Crocker apparently! Odd, I pictured her mother as being so strict she wouldn't allow Carrie to eat sweets...), Carrie brings up that she was invited to the prom, to which her mother says "No, no, no." They argue and Carrie uses her powers to force her mother to listen to what she has to say. She want's to lead her own life and says things are going to change around here. Good for her!

Back to the detective, now he's talking to a super preppy school spirit chick about Sue and Chris and what happened at the prom (who picks a doughnut apart like that to eat one...annoying!).

Cutting to Chris in the locker room at school, she over hears Carrie talking on the phone and surprises her, causing Carrie to hang up. All Chris does is plant doubt in Carrie's mind that Sue actually likes her. Because she's a bitch...and that's what bitches do.

Next scene is Carrie trying on lipstick...quite badly (I've hardly worn make up but at least I know how to put on lipstick! It's not that hard...) when she's spotted by Sue. Sue tries to help her with the lipstick and they talk about the prom. And this is where I notice Carrie looks better (her hair) and she's actually talking normal.

Two days before prom, and everyone is working in the gym, painting back drops. Chris then strolls in to meet with one of her bitchy friends when she finds out Carrie and Ross are on the prom king and queen ballet. She then calls Billy (her boyfriend) to tell him about this and start in motion the evil plot...

Over to Carrie's house where shes planning on what dress to make for the prom. The mother brings up religion again (I mean I know about bible thumpers but wow...give it a rest lady. Pretty sure all you have to do to get in good with Jesus is ask to be forgiven on your death bed...again know jack about religion so...but that's what I've heard.) and Carrie insists Jesus loves her still.

Back to the detective, this time he's talking to a delinquent named Jackie about being friends with Chris, Billy and Sue. He shows Jackie some pictures of him, Chris and Billy at a pig farm after dark (which is interesting because most security cameras take really grainy shots...oh well, Hollywood magic right?).

We flash back to the night in question in one of the...creepier moments in this movie so far where Billy shows some of his true colors and mercilessly bashes a pigs head with a sledge hammer.

Next scene we see Carrie's house marked off with police tape, like a crime scene. There the detective is seen going through Carrie's room and looking at her stuff. He turns when he hears a creak and we flash back to the night of the prom where Carrie is looking at her self in her new pink dress. Her mother comments on how "I should have known it would be red." When it's clearly pink...(foreshadowing?). She annoys Carrie enough to piss her off and make her use her powers to push her mother out of the room. Her mother then leaves the house with a bible (late night run to church to pray for her daughter?)

We then see Carrie worry about Ross not coming, letting her power run amok on the house. But Ross shows in the end (making for a very funny scene where we hear everything crashing down in the house lol.) He shows up with a limo and everything...sweet guy.

It's over to the creepy asshole Billy and his bitch girlfriend Chris while they're in bed (most likely after having sex). Chris wonders out loud if their plan is such a good idea but in the end she admits it is a good joke. Billy says "Pig blood for a pig" telling us whats to come. Really makes me wonder why Billy hates Carrie that much...I mean I get most people hate Carrie, but other then the fact Chris wants revenge on Carrie...he doesn't really have a motive for that hatred...right?

Carrie and Ross drive up to the prom in the limo (which looking at all the normal cars...is he the only one who rented a limo? interesting...). We then see Chris and her boyfriend being super creepy and spying on Carrie and Ross. Again...why is Billy so creepy here?

So everybody is shocked how Carrie looks so good (and she really does look nice once she takes care of her hair and ditches the frumpy clothing.) Ross leaves to go get punch while the gym teacher spots Carrie and starts talking to her about how none of this popular girl bullshit will matter after high school is over. She then takes Ross away to talk to him and threatens to expel him if he doesn't treat Carrie right. Good for her, but isn't she taking Carrie's side a little too much? I guess maybe she was bullied and knows how it feels? Still...little odd.

Ross convinces Carrie to dance with him (saying it requires no skill, just shifting your weight from foot to foot, which looking at the other dancers...is true. I've never danced so I didn't notice that...I guess slow dances are good for more then just getting close to your date lol.) and Carrie says how good of a time shes having. We then see creepy Billy and bitchy Chris hiding up in the rafters with a rope tied to a bucket over the prom king and queen chairs...gee I wonder what will happen? So voting assumes for prom king and queen.

We cut to the detective with some ballets he fished out of the dumpster and reveals that Frank and Jessica were the ones who won prom king and queen, not Ross and Carrie. Back to the prom we see Carrie and Ross win the vote and get led up on stage. While this is happening we cut over to Carrie's mother sitting in the messy house looking up at a cross (which I still don't see why she didn't want Carrie to go unless she herself has some sort of powers and knew everything that was going to happen...which makes me wonder why didn't she just tell Carrie all of it in the first place?). Going back to the prom we see Chris chicken out and not pull the rope at the correct time. And Ross and Carrie go off to have a dance and end up kissing which makes me start suspecting...yep it was just a dream/idea in Carries head. So back in the moment, Chris pulls the rope and Carrie gets the bucket of blood poured on her. Chris notices it's time to get the hell out and lets go of the rope which causes the bucket to hit Ross on his head (killing him?) and starts the asshole/bitches laughing which in turn causes Carrie to lose her shit in a most satisfying way.

Carrie ends up killing nearly everyone in the gym save for a few people that the gym teacher was able to save. And she walks out of the gym while it collapses and is engulfed in flames...bad ass revenge!

We cut to the detective talking to Sue and we flash back to what she saw that night. Looks like as Carrie walks through town, her powers are out of control and cause destruction where she goes. We go back to the two main assholes in this movie Chris and Billy when they get informed half the town is in ruins and the gym is gone. Billy then tells Chris they should go watch the fires...seriously mental case here. Billy and Chris then spot someone while in Billy's truck and Billy floors it, trying to run down whoever it is (he's doing this before we can tell they know it's Carrie...so what the fuck is his problem?) and they end up getting their just desserts when Carrie's powers lifts the truck and smashes it on a pole, killing them both.

Carrie arrives home where she fills the bathtub full of water with her powers and gets into the tub...dress and all. She then "snaps out of it" by freezing a drop of water? Ok...then. Her mother then comes in and tries to drown her for being a "witch". Carrie uses her powers to stop her mothers heart. She then "drowns".

We go back to the detective and Sue and he questions her on when she last saw Carrie alive. She says before the prom but he brings up the fact she said after the prom at the gas station. We then see why she lies. Sue gives mouth to mouth to Carrie and revives her.

Back to the detective, this time with the gym teacher (meaning she survived! yay!) and he questions her on what she saw that night. She believes what happened on prom night was the work of Carrie (bingo, hit the nail on the head! the only smart one in this movie lol...). We see Sue going to a storage locker (?) place and unlocking it to find Carrie in there bundled up with a space heater. They go to the cemetery after dark and we see Carrie has cut her hair and dyed it blond. Sue tells Carrie she'll drive her as far as Florida.

As the movie ends we see Carrie having nightmares about her mother and Chris and turns out the hair job was just a wig lol.

My thoughts: I think I would have liked the original one better because I bet it would have had less cheezy effects and music in it. But it's not a horrible movie...just...not what I expected I guess. I knew the basic story of Carrie going into it (mother is a religious nut job, Carrie has powers, she gets blood poured on her at prom and then freaks out killing people.) but the movie didn't answer a lot of questions it left me with. Like why did Sue help her this much? And why was Billy such a crazy prick? Why was Carrie's mom so freaky?

I guess I can see Sue helping her this much because she feels guilty about what happened. And Carrie's mom being this way because Carrie was born with powers but...assuming the bloody knife and woman holding a crying baby at the beginning of the movie was her mother...then she was all ready freaky. But Billy...I can't explain that one. It's a so-so movie remake. I can't judge it more until I see the original and see if it's better...I sure hope it is.

Friday, October 2, 2015

The Shining Review

I picked The Shining to kick off my Horrorthon because I'm currently re-reading the book and I wanted to see what differences there are between the book and movie and there are a few. Now I've never reviewed a movie before so this is all an experiment. Spoiler alert.

I ended up detailing everything that happens in the movie...didn't want to...next movie I hope to just voice my thoughts on it. But I'm tired and a bit groggy from lack of sleep.

Title - The Shining

Genre - Psychological horror

Year - 1980

As the movie opens we get beautiful views of what is supposed to be Colorado but is actually Montana (who cares, it's freaking beautiful!). One funny slip up that I wonder why it made it into the end film is you can see the shadow of the helicopter filming the VW driving. After all the pretty views, we cut to The Interview, where Jack meets Mr. Ullman. After a little meet and great we cut to Wendy and Danny at home. Now here are two big differences between the movie and the book. First off Wendy...not a blond! I actually like Shelley Duvall and I'm glad they didn't keep the "leggy blond" from the book. The second difference is Tony, Danny's imaginary "friend". In the book Tony is a person Danny can see who brings him visions. In the movie...he's his finger? Not sure why they went that route, and Wendy openly "talks" to Tony in the movie. Pretty sure she doesn't talk to him at all in the book, I know she asks Danny about him later on in the book but they don't talk.

Going back to Jack and Mr. Ullman, another slight difference can be seen. Mr. Ullman in the movie is more friendly and open with Jack then he is in the book. Mr. Ullman explains about the last groundskeeper they hired and how he went a little "crazy" with cabin fever. We go back to Danny in the bathroom, having his first vision of the movie. After the vision he's examined by a female doctor at their home. This is another difference from the book. In the book it's not until they're living in the hotel that Danny gets checked out by a doctor and a male one at that. After checking Danny out the doctor and Wendy go to the living room to talk about Tony. And another difference pops up. Wendy tells the doctor about Jack hurting Danny's arm, while in the book Jack told the doctor. Also of note Wendy says Jack hasn't had a drop to drink in 5 months while in the book I believe it was 14 months (don't quote me on that though.).

We then cut to Closing Day and get more views of the mountains. Now one thing I picked up while watching this movie closer then I usually do (for the review) is that Jack seems...annoyed or irritated in the car talking to Wendy and Danny. His irritation doesn't really start kicking in, in the book till they live in the hotel for a while. Interesting, wonder if it's Jack Nicholson being his normal slightly crazy self or what. Once they get to the hotel Jack and Wendy get shown around while Danny plays in the "games" room (again there isn't a games room in the book...) where he sees the Grady twins a second time (the first time being the vision he had in the bathroom). Another big difference between book and movie is the hedge maze. In the book it's hedge animals, not a maze. After a little show of the snow cat (not a snow mobile like the book) and the "Gold Room" (or what would be the Colorado Lounge in the book) we meet Dick. So Wendy and Danny go off with Dick to see the kitchen and Jack stays with Mr. Ullman to see the rest of the hotel.

Dick slips up and ends up calling Danny "Doc", which is his parents nickname for him. And this is the first inclination we get that Dick is special. Dick goes on to show off the dried goods pantry when we get an annoying ringing sound (foreshadowing?) and Dick "talks" to Danny and asks him if he wants some ice cream. Mr. Ullman and Jack meet up with Dick, Wendy and Danny and pull Wendy away to show Jack and Wendy the basement while Dick and Danny go off to get ice cream. Dick explains what "The Shining" is to Danny. Danny then explains to us what Tony is and what he does. They talk a little more about the "bad things" in the hotel like room 237 (which again the book has it as 217. But because the hotel they filmed at had a 217 room, they didn't want people to be scared of it...so they changed the number. Little fun fact for you!).

It then cuts to A Month Later, and we see the Torrance's settle in to their daily lives. Danny playing on his bike, Wendy making breakfast for Jack, Jack not writing...so on and so forth. Danny and Wendy go for a walk through the maze while Jack (still not writing) finds the maze model and looks down on it. The great thing about this movie is the music! Just listen to that tense music...keeps you on edge...and nothing even happens. That's what I love about movies like this one. They don't rely on "scary" monsters...

Another cut, this time to Tuesday. Wendy is in the kitchen listening to the TV, which forewarns of an upcoming snow storm. While Danny is playing on his bike again and ends up outside room 237. And because he's a stupid kid...he doesn't listen to Dick when he said to not go into that room, he tries the damn doorknob. Thankfully it's locked but he gets another flash of the Grady twins, which spooks him enough to make him get back on his bike and peddle out of there quickly. We cut to Jack (actually writing!) and Wendy coming in to ask how it's going. Here's another fun fact. Next to the typewriter on the table is the scrapbook that Jack finds in the basement in the book. In the movie the scrapbook doesn't get much attention which is odd since it sort of starts the downfall of Jack. Anyways here we see Jack getting very annoyed and cluing us into that not everything is going great in the Overlook.

Saturday cut, the snow storm seems in full force. Jack is seen typing away while Wendy is in the office checking the phone switch board and not getting anything. She then goes to Ullman's office and tries the CB radio, getting a response from park rangers (?) who tell her the lines will most likely stay out till spring and to leave the radio on all the time now. We cut to Danny peddling around in his bike when he turns the corner and finds the Grady twins waiting for him. And they say one of the most memorable lines of the movie " Come play with us Danny, forever and ever and ever." While they say this we get shots of their lifeless corpses in the hallway all bloody with an ax laying nearby. Danny freaks out, covers his eyes and hopes they go away, which they do. Then he talks to Tony who tells him to remember what Dick said, that this stuff isn't real.

Monday cut, we see Wendy and Danny watching TV when Danny suddenly wants to go get his fire engine out of his room. Wendy tells him his father is asleep, but Danny insists he won't make a sound. Wendy agrees and Danny is off to their rooms. When we get to the rooms we see Jack is actually awake and sitting on the bed, he creepily tells Danny to come over here. And what follows is one of the more...creepy and uncomfortable scenes of the movie I think. While Jack and Danny talk, Jack ends up repeating what the Grady twins said "Forever and ever and ever."

Wednesday cut, we see Danny playing on the carpet with his toy cars when a yellow ball rolls up to him (the same ball Jack was bouncing off the walls earlier). He walks down the hallway calling for his mom when he sees room 237 is open. And of course, he goes inside. We cut to Wendy down in the basement checking the boiler (which she never does in the book) when she hears someone cry out. We cut to Jack having a nightmare and crying out in his sleep. Wendy wakes him up and he reveals he was having a nightmare about killing her and Danny and cutting them up into little pieces. While Wendy helps Jack stand up, we see Danny slowly walk into the room. She tells Danny to go to his room, but when he doesn't listen she comes over to him and notices there's bruising on his neck. She then accuses Jack of doing it (which isn't very logical...did he do it in his sleep Wendy?) and runs out of the room carrying Danny. Jack then slowly starts to freak out as he ends up wandering into the Gold Room and up to the bar. We see him finally lose it when he starts talking to Lloyd the barkeep. Eventually Wendy comes running to tell Jack that some "crazy woman" in one of the rooms strangled Danny.

We cut over to Dick in Miami watching the local news when that annoying ringing kicks in, signalling to us something is going to happen. We see Jack go into room 237 and find the "crazy woman" in the tub...nude. Of course Jackie boy seems to enjoy this what with his smile. They embrace and kiss. Eventually Jack notices somethings wrong and looks in the mirror, the hot woman is now an old woman who looks like shes been decomposing in that tub for a while. He runs out of the room and locks it while the old woman laughs. We cut back to Dick calling on the phone (most likely trying to get The Overlook.). The call doesn't go through. We cut back to Wendy in their rooms, pacing and sniffling when there is a knock on the door. It's Jack and he tells Wendy he found nothing in the room, he then goes on to say Danny got the bruises by doing it to himself. We cut to see Danny is awake and listening to this all, when we see the first Redrum. Wendy mentions that they need to get Danny out of the hotel, which pisses Jack off. He then storms out of their room., leaving Wendy to cry.

Going back to Jack he starts knocking things off shelves when he hears music playing. Turning down a hallway he sees balloons and party streamers littering the floor. We cut back to Dick who reaches the park rangers and asks if they can contact the Torrance's because he's worried about them. Cutting back to Jack, he's wandering down the hallway to the Gold Room, which is now filled with people. He walks up to the bar where Lloyd is and Lloyd pours him a drink. Jack then dances with the music and ends up getting some drinks spilled on him by a waiter. The waiter then leads him to the bathroom to clean his jacket. We then find out the waiter is actually Grady. Aka the guy who had the job before Jack and murdered his family. Jack tells him what he did and that he was the caretaker but Grady disagrees and says that Jack has always been the caretaker. Grady then informs him that Danny is trying to bring someone from the outside to The Overlook. When Jack asks who, Grady says it's Dick the cook. Grady goes on to tell Jack that Danny is using his "talent" to bring Dick here against Jacks will. Grady goes on to hint about "correcting" Danny and Wendy.

We cut back to Wendy who's pacing in her room, talking to herself about using the snow cat to get down the mountain when Danny starts saying "Redrum" over and over. She gets him to stop but finds out Tony has "taken over" Danny for the moment. Switching back to Jack, we hear the rangers on the CB radio trying to contact the Torrence's. Jack takes the CB radio apart and pulls some plugs out, making the radio now useless. We cut over to Dick calling the rangers back and he finds out they couldn't contact the Torrence's.

8 am cut, we see Dick on an airplane going to Denver. We cut back to Jack at the hotel, typing. And back to the airplane landing. Dick calls Larry to ask about getting a snow cat to go up to the hotel. Dick rents a car from the airport and drives along the snowy highway. We cut back to the hotel where Wendy and Danny are watching TV. Wendy tells Danny she's going to go talk to Jack for a few minutes but Tony answers for Danny, showing us Tony is still in control of Danny. While Danny is distracted watching TV, Wendy grabs his baseball bat on the way out. Wendy goes looking for Jack, but not finding him, she looks over at his writing and sees it's nothing but the same line "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.". Which never appeared in the book. As Wendy flips through the pages, Jack appears and asks her how she likes it, scaring her. They go on a long spiel about Danny and Jack's responsibilities and how Jack's not going to hurt her, just "bash her brains in". Wendy then hits Jack's hand and then his head causing him to fall down the stairs. We cut to Wendy dragging Jack into the kitchen and locking him in the dry pantry (remember what I said about foreshadowing? Yeah...). Wendy tells Jack she's going to take Danny down with the snow cat and Jack happily replies to go check the snow cat out and the radio. Wendy then runs outside in the snow only to find the snow cat has had a part removed.

4 pm cut, we see Jack asleep in the pantry when he's awoken by knocking. Turns out to be Grady. Grady and Jack talk about how Wendy overpowered him and Jack let Grady and "others" down. He asks for another chance. Grady then makes Jack promise to take "care" of the problem and unlocks the door. We then cut outside to see Dick in the snow cat. We cut back inside and Danny enters Jack and Wendy's bedroom say "Redrum" over and over again. He grabs Wendy's knife and her lipstick and writes Redrum on the bathroom door. He then screams Redrum till Wendy wakes up and sees Redrum is actually Murder backwards. And then a loud crash, signals Jack is outside trying to chop through the door with an ax (another fun fact, they had to use real doors because Jack Nicholson had firefighting experience and knew how to chop doors down and was chopping the fake ones to fast lol, what a bad ass.). Wendy picks up Danny and locks them in the bathroom, then pushes Danny out the window. Not being able to fit herself, she tells Danny to run and hide. Jack then breaks into the bathroom door and says the other memorable line in the movie " Here's Johnny!". He then reaches in to unlock the door when Wendy cuts him with the knife (really fake blood here haha). We then cut back to Dick in the snow cat. We cut back inside where Wendy and Jack both hear the snow cats engine. We cut to Danny running in the kitchen and hiding in a cubby hole. We cut back to Jack limping around holding the ax. And then back to Wendy who finally realizes now's her chance to GTFO. We cut to Dick entering the hotel and then back to Jack with the ax. Jack and Dick meet up and Jack kills Dick. Which causes Danny to scream and now Jack's heard his scream. Jack goes to find Danny who leaves his hiding spot, Jack gives chase. We cut to Wendy trying to find Danny when she spots the dog man and another man in one of the rooms and runs away. Cutting back to Jack we see he's chased Danny outside and into the maze. They run around the maze before it cuts back to Wendy spotting Dick's body and then seeing one of the "ghosts" of the hotel. We cut back and forth between Jack chasing Danny in the maze and Wendy seeing stuff in the hotel. We see Danny take the time to double back and hide his footprints. This fools Jack and gets him lost in the maze while Danny escapes and runs to his mother. They then take the snow cat and leave The Overlook and Jack to their fates. The movie ends with a zoom in on a picture from 1921 that shows Jack in it, revealing he's joined everyone who's died in the Overlook...forever.

My thoughts: I've never much cared for horror movies that use nothing but monsters to make it scary. I like movies like this that make you think scary shit is about to happen when half the time it doesn't. I mean don't get me wrong if the movie is a classic monster movie I'll like it but I'd rather have my brain working overtime trying to figure out what's the real scary thing. I think most of Stephen Kings books that got turned into movies share this, they make you think.